My Friend Brennan
So, I've been feeling like I needed to journal/blog about my friend Brennan for a while now, but didn't really know what to say. I don't have anything super profound to offer, but I just wanted to record this experience.
I met Brennan DeCoursey in 2009 after Jayce and I got married and started going to a BYU student married ward in Provo. We became good friends in 2010 when we served in the Relief Society presidency together.
She loved to have fun, she was very dedicated to her family, and she went after the one. She was well loved by the women in our ward. Known to bribe us with candy to do our visiting teaching, and well liked for her positive AND down to earth outlook on life!
I also remember watching her with her son. She had this awesome book (which she thoughtfully tried to order for me when I got pregnant, but found that it was out of print!) that had lots of outdoor ground-like textures. Does that make sense? Haha. There was a page that had grass, and a page with something pavement-like, etc. She would take off little Benton's shoes and socks during church and rub his feet on the different pages of the book as they sat there cheek to cheek in the pew.
Brennan also had a really sweet sense of humility. I don't know why this memory of her has stuck with me over the years when so many other memories have faded, but I specifically remember her giving a talk in Sacrament meeting one Sunday. I don't remember the topic, but I remember that she was shaking a little bit with nerves as she read it off of her papers.
It was a normal church talk with good quotes and nice things being said, but then she got to a personal story about losing her temper with her husband over something. Again, I don't remember the story she told or what she said she learned from it, but I remember the feelings I had as I watched her from the congregation. My flood gates opened and I thought about all the ways I could be a better friend and wife to Jayce. In that moment I tossed my pride away and honed in on what was really important. Family, forgiveness, charity.
My heart was softened and I saw Brennan for who she was, a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father who was here doing the same thing I'm doing, trying to live up to her potential and find her way home.
A couple of years ago I found out that Brennan had contracted cancer that had spread into her lungs. She was given something like a 10% chance of living. I was shocked. It hit so close to home for me. A young, healthy wife and mother of two in her 20's, husband just starting off at his first job after school. I couldn't believe that it was happening to one of my friends. Those kinds of things happen to friends of friend's cousins, not to people I've watched play minute-to-win-it games.
Her family started a Facebook group and asked for everyone to fast and pray for Brennan on a specific Fast Sunday. We participated along with her family and friends scattered across the country and it was a great experience. I was inspired by Brennan's posts on the page. She was full of faith that she was going to be healed and miracle after miracle kept on happening as she started battling the cancer, even with doctor after doctor telling her that she was incurable.
Sometime within the last 6 months or so her mom got onto the page to tell everyone that recent tests came back showing that Brennan was 100% cancer free. 100% CANCER FREE from a cancer that was supposed to be without a doubt BEYOND CURING. An absolute miracle. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and said a prayer of thanks. There was NO TRACE of cancer in her body.
Brennan was healed. Heavenly Father answered our prayers and built our faith, but he also still needed to call her home. What we later came to find out was that a couple of months ago her cancer returned.
A little over three weeks ago I met up with some friends from my old student married ward for a play date. Some of the same girls I used to see when I saw Brennan. When we were getting ready to leave the park, one of my friends solemnly told us about what she had read on Facebook just before showing up at the park. Brennan had passed away sometime in the 24 hours before we met up.
Again, SHOCK. The last that we had heard about it was that she was cancer free, how could she possibly have died?? How had the cancer come back and progressed that quickly? My heart ached thinking about her husband and two little boys. How were they handling it? How much warning did they have? How much did those sweet little boys understand? Were they wandering around wondering why their mother was no where to be found? Were they confused when they were told they wouldn't be seeing her for a very long time? It was overwhelming for me, I can't even imagine what it was like for her family.
All the same, I do know that we all did witness a miracle. Heavenly Father let us see the answer to our prayers before he took her home. Everything is on God's time table, I feel grateful that He gave us the opportunity to see her healed before He needed to take her back. I'm so grateful for that.
Brennan was very brave. She wrote this to another friend from that RS presidency:
"My priorities in life are vastly different now than they were a year ago. My idea of what a 'big deal' is has changed completely for the better which allows me to stress out considerably less! I can honestly say that I am so much a better person today than I was a year ago…even though I am still bald and sick a lot of the time! This year I have truly gained a testimony of the fact that Heavenly Father is intimately aware of the details of our lives. He knows our thoughts, our fears, and our concerns but He, better than we, knows our capacity and knows what experiences will benefit us most, even though they are hard."
So beautifully said, Brennan.
Brennan's mom posted her talk from the funeral in the Facebook group and I wanted to share a part of that as well:
"It is natural for us to question why God would take a beautiful, vibrant, young 28-year-old mother of two home to Him when she had so many important things to do here. I prefer to ask myself "Why am I still here? What do I need to do to prepare to meet God? What would He expect of me today? How can I make the most of every day I am allotted in mortality?"
Because this is not our home. This is our time to prepare to go home...to a home of incomparable beauty, joy, love, and purpose. Brennan has gone home. I want to be as prepared as she was when my time comes."
To end this entry I'll just bear my testimony that I know that Brennan's mom is right. This is our time to prepare to meet our Father in Heaven. Mortality is full of the unexpected. It's full of disappointments, losses, and other unexpected twists and turns. However, there is always light for those who seek it out.
For me, the light in this situation is that I have faith that Brennan will be watching her children. She will be there for their big moments, she will be aiding them and their children and their children's children from the other side and she will have joy in it. I have had this idea confirmed to me and I know that she will have the same opportunity.
Mortality is a blip on the line of eternity. We can't see that, but He can. Mark 5:36, "As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe."
I believe.
I met Brennan DeCoursey in 2009 after Jayce and I got married and started going to a BYU student married ward in Provo. We became good friends in 2010 when we served in the Relief Society presidency together.
She loved to have fun, she was very dedicated to her family, and she went after the one. She was well loved by the women in our ward. Known to bribe us with candy to do our visiting teaching, and well liked for her positive AND down to earth outlook on life!
I also remember watching her with her son. She had this awesome book (which she thoughtfully tried to order for me when I got pregnant, but found that it was out of print!) that had lots of outdoor ground-like textures. Does that make sense? Haha. There was a page that had grass, and a page with something pavement-like, etc. She would take off little Benton's shoes and socks during church and rub his feet on the different pages of the book as they sat there cheek to cheek in the pew.
Brennan also had a really sweet sense of humility. I don't know why this memory of her has stuck with me over the years when so many other memories have faded, but I specifically remember her giving a talk in Sacrament meeting one Sunday. I don't remember the topic, but I remember that she was shaking a little bit with nerves as she read it off of her papers.
It was a normal church talk with good quotes and nice things being said, but then she got to a personal story about losing her temper with her husband over something. Again, I don't remember the story she told or what she said she learned from it, but I remember the feelings I had as I watched her from the congregation. My flood gates opened and I thought about all the ways I could be a better friend and wife to Jayce. In that moment I tossed my pride away and honed in on what was really important. Family, forgiveness, charity.
My heart was softened and I saw Brennan for who she was, a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father who was here doing the same thing I'm doing, trying to live up to her potential and find her way home.
A couple of years ago I found out that Brennan had contracted cancer that had spread into her lungs. She was given something like a 10% chance of living. I was shocked. It hit so close to home for me. A young, healthy wife and mother of two in her 20's, husband just starting off at his first job after school. I couldn't believe that it was happening to one of my friends. Those kinds of things happen to friends of friend's cousins, not to people I've watched play minute-to-win-it games.
Her family started a Facebook group and asked for everyone to fast and pray for Brennan on a specific Fast Sunday. We participated along with her family and friends scattered across the country and it was a great experience. I was inspired by Brennan's posts on the page. She was full of faith that she was going to be healed and miracle after miracle kept on happening as she started battling the cancer, even with doctor after doctor telling her that she was incurable.
Sometime within the last 6 months or so her mom got onto the page to tell everyone that recent tests came back showing that Brennan was 100% cancer free. 100% CANCER FREE from a cancer that was supposed to be without a doubt BEYOND CURING. An absolute miracle. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and said a prayer of thanks. There was NO TRACE of cancer in her body.
Brennan was healed. Heavenly Father answered our prayers and built our faith, but he also still needed to call her home. What we later came to find out was that a couple of months ago her cancer returned.
A little over three weeks ago I met up with some friends from my old student married ward for a play date. Some of the same girls I used to see when I saw Brennan. When we were getting ready to leave the park, one of my friends solemnly told us about what she had read on Facebook just before showing up at the park. Brennan had passed away sometime in the 24 hours before we met up.
Again, SHOCK. The last that we had heard about it was that she was cancer free, how could she possibly have died?? How had the cancer come back and progressed that quickly? My heart ached thinking about her husband and two little boys. How were they handling it? How much warning did they have? How much did those sweet little boys understand? Were they wandering around wondering why their mother was no where to be found? Were they confused when they were told they wouldn't be seeing her for a very long time? It was overwhelming for me, I can't even imagine what it was like for her family.
All the same, I do know that we all did witness a miracle. Heavenly Father let us see the answer to our prayers before he took her home. Everything is on God's time table, I feel grateful that He gave us the opportunity to see her healed before He needed to take her back. I'm so grateful for that.
Brennan was very brave. She wrote this to another friend from that RS presidency:
"My priorities in life are vastly different now than they were a year ago. My idea of what a 'big deal' is has changed completely for the better which allows me to stress out considerably less! I can honestly say that I am so much a better person today than I was a year ago…even though I am still bald and sick a lot of the time! This year I have truly gained a testimony of the fact that Heavenly Father is intimately aware of the details of our lives. He knows our thoughts, our fears, and our concerns but He, better than we, knows our capacity and knows what experiences will benefit us most, even though they are hard."
So beautifully said, Brennan.
Brennan's mom posted her talk from the funeral in the Facebook group and I wanted to share a part of that as well:
"It is natural for us to question why God would take a beautiful, vibrant, young 28-year-old mother of two home to Him when she had so many important things to do here. I prefer to ask myself "Why am I still here? What do I need to do to prepare to meet God? What would He expect of me today? How can I make the most of every day I am allotted in mortality?"
Because this is not our home. This is our time to prepare to go home...to a home of incomparable beauty, joy, love, and purpose. Brennan has gone home. I want to be as prepared as she was when my time comes."
To end this entry I'll just bear my testimony that I know that Brennan's mom is right. This is our time to prepare to meet our Father in Heaven. Mortality is full of the unexpected. It's full of disappointments, losses, and other unexpected twists and turns. However, there is always light for those who seek it out.
For me, the light in this situation is that I have faith that Brennan will be watching her children. She will be there for their big moments, she will be aiding them and their children and their children's children from the other side and she will have joy in it. I have had this idea confirmed to me and I know that she will have the same opportunity.
Mortality is a blip on the line of eternity. We can't see that, but He can. Mark 5:36, "As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe."
I believe.
Thank you for sharing this! Really makes me rethink my priorities, realize what is important & makes me want to be a better wife, mother & ME!! Sounds like she was a blessing in everyone's life, sounds like you were blessed by knowing her!!
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